Apparently there are some different support style groups at my school available. I've only been seeing my therapist every couple of weeks and mostly in the interest of managing my stress with my sleep issues and just to have a second voice outside of myself to help me be sure I'm sane. ;)
We're about to conclude my even coming in for these once every two to three week maintenance sessions, and as I let her know I was ready to do that this week she suggested something interesting to me.... group therapy. Not in the sense of true support groups for major issues, these have more to do with quality of life and similar concerns. Apparently they are making an effort to put more of these into place at my school - and it got me thinking. They tend to offer them for eating disorders, sexual abuse victims, graduate students, general support, and LGBT students. Which of these groups do I fit in? I have not struggled with any ED problems, don't consider myself a victim of sexual abuse, but sure I fit the other options. Which one would I prefer if I were to do this? Should I attend one?
I think it might be a way to meet those like minds I have such a difficult time finding out here, and to not feel so isolated so often. However, I can be extremely private. I also don't like to give advice unless I really know someone or they expressly ask me. I'm very open, and yet and yet, I guess I have no idea how I would act in a group like this unless I was in it. Perhaps it would be a good lesson in not needing to compartmentalize so much. It's ok to be human, it's ok to see my students in a bar, it's not ok to sleep with one - but other than that it's a-ok for them to see me just being myself. It's ok to see myself being human in all settings and stop expecting so much from myself all the time.
So maybe I'll go. It's no time soon, they'd be starting in January, but if I go which one should I go too?
It's an odd thing, the one thing about myself I am wholly accepting of and have no qualms with is my sexuality. It's one of the few things I will argue about vehemently when I encounter an ignorant opinion on (arguing or even educating others on things is something I generally choose not to do outside of a classroom setting), and yet I don't like to deal with it with people either. To me it is not a big deal in some ways. That group would put me in touch with those struggling or wanting support who are LGBT. Maybe that would be a good fit, allowing me to get in touch with that group and community of people here and more with that side of myself, maybe it wouldn't.
The graduate student group? It would keep me from feeling like I was mixing with my students in an inappropriate way... but I bet it would be so much more of the same thing I've experienced with other graduate students here. Maybe not, perhaps it would surprise me pleasantly, but I have no desire to be surrounded by more conservative and religious married individuals. Nothing against them, but I have enough of them in my repertoire as it is. I would not be comfortable surrounded by a group of them either, it would be just like going to class is right now.
Perhaps I could always attend them both and then see where or if I feel I fit at all.
Depending on your state of mind you may find either of these to be an awesome experience. If you can try to keep the religous right conservative blinkers close at hand you may find that the people beneath the hard coded fundamentals start to surface. If you connect with the people personally they become much less ignorant and understanding when confronted with viewpoints and lifestyle situations that they would otherwise denounce in an instant. (Not always though, some are bigoted by years of upbringing and training and theres no way through that).
ReplyDeleteI was dragged many years ago to a christian help group by a friend of mine (long story yawn - sorry) and after initial reservations of my non-belief I found that I got quite a lot from these people personally by actually silently "forgiving them - oh the irony" and interacting with them as friends who support and help without provoking the conflicts that we shared on religous grounds.
Not sure if that came out right or even if it made sense. (love your blog long time by the way)
Thank you for the comment, and I completely understand what you mean about looking beyond their views.
ReplyDeleteI would say 90% of my friends, family, etc. don't share my views and often on both sides we choose to do that. I don't have one friend who is similar to me in the real world (just meaning has a non traditional sexual orientation, is non religious, is liberal, doesn't necessarily want babies kids and a house with the white picket fence) - though I do in the blogosphere. I'm very good at acceptance, and I have nothing against religion either (it's just not for me). I think religion can be beautiful, and so can those who believe in it, just like any belief can make someone beautiful. It incites passion and caring. What I meant though was that here I do tend to encounter the home-grown ingrained mentalities who choose to label and judge me based on one aspect of my person rather than getting to know me or allowing me to know them. I get very tired of always being the odd girl out with my comments, views, concerns, etc. I don't feel a group where I was again the odd girl out would have much benefit for me. That's what I was trying to say.
Answering the question you left in your blog, the obvious choice would be to attend both groups to see whether either, or both, has anything to offer you.
ReplyDeleteThe broader question, brought out by your discussion with confusedus, is whether groups by their very nature are tools to achieve conformity. In a way they have to be: to function, they must enforce meeting times and procedural rules. Beyond that, groups give support to those who support the group. Would you be able to find support among people who don't share many of your core attitudes and beliefs? Or would you become a target for members who want to enhance their standing in the group by targeting nonconformists?
I know someone may want to punch me in the face for noticing this...
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to make these mistakes while writing personally.
"but if I go which one should I go too?"
You used the wrong word at the end and you should have ended with a verb rather than the preposition. "to which should I go?"
<3 you
feel free to delete this comment when you fix it, just have to point these things out.