I have been off having a fantastic time for the weekend (some pre-birthday celebrating) and - insert sarcasm - doing school work. The semester is officially in full swing. In fact, I'm in class right now, and I don't feel guilty about writing this now.
Mmm, I got my need to kiss a girl again satiated this weekend. I feel a little guilty that it was with my Frances' girl, he didn't seem upset, I didn't think he would be, I really really hope he wasn't (there's been no chance to ask him alone really).... it's the only thing I feel bad about from the weekend. I didn't want to kiss her really. Then the bouncer walked up and asked us if we would or something like that, and then she looked at me. She's very pretty, piercing blue eyes, soft hair, soft skin, sweet lips, etc. She looked at me in this undemanding way she has about her, a little hopeful (maybe it's been a while for her too??) and smiled. It was too much or something. I immediately was like: Self, wtf. Not ok. You said you wouldn't. I really want to talk to Frances about it, sigh. He didn't call today, and I didn't want to leave a VM about it. So I left two about other things. :(
Stupid alcohol and soft skin. They're such a potent combination. The funny part about it was, while it at least satisfied that need (which has been growing lately) I didn't feel anything. And as a person, I really liked her!! She's the kind of person I could be very good friends with, he could do a lot worse. ;) I also kissed and flashed my boobs to a bouncer, but it was more to get him to leave me/us alone. My prominent feelings at the time were somewhere along the lines of whatever, surely he'll leave if I do this. Which I know doesn't make much sense, that doesn't make men leave. He was somewhat verbally persistent and it was killing my buzz, what a bad reason, lol. I'm also not planning to tell SP about any of those things. My ex seemed ok with my activities (he said he was), which regularly involved flashing and kissing people... but I only used tongue with women, but I doubt he was ok with it in reality. SP has a more pronounced jealous streak already, and he's a recovering Catholic (my term for anyone who grew up with any Catholic influence, even if they reject it, and he does). No need for that kind of trouble, when I know I had already forgotten these things 2 days later without looking at photos and trying to remember. On another note: Our between the sheets chemistry has gone through the roof lately, I have all kinds of bruises, and it's fantastic. I have no idea what changed... maybe my other bestie moving away... I'm relying on him a lot more for my talking friend, my emotional stability friend, my right now person.... interesting that it's going so well. Haha.
I feel like I'm rarely getting to converse with anyone BUT SP.... everyone seems busy. My phone rarely rings. My messenger is fairly quiet. Ah well, this too shall pass. Everyone has lots of things going on, it's life.
This weekend I was all about trying to make people a little uncomfortable, for whatever reason.... here's one of the ways I did it....
I was in the bathroom in a huge sporting goods chain store. They were out of TP. We had to use paper towels, or 'rough it'. So I did this and then went to wash my hands. The idiot automatic sink would not acknowledge me no matter what I did. I sighed loudly at it and the woman next to me (40's? Fit, dressed boring but ok.) waiting on someone smiled and said, "Don't you hate when they do that?" At that moment, the water came on, and I squeaked in excitement as I smiled at her and replied, "Yes, I can't stand when some inanimate object won't validate my existence." That made her laugh, so I went on... "The best is the little thrill I get when the credit card machine tells me I'm approved." She laughed some more and made some comment along the lines of "It's funny how we respond to that" , so I went on.... "What does that say about me?, It makes me want to call my mother and tell her she didn't love me enough." I smiled, she laughed again but this time with some color in her cheeks and a bit of a nervous edge.
Mission Accomplished. :D
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