These are portions of his paraphrased words.....
On 3somes: They're destructive. I am not the type that has sex with just anyone, so that part makes no sense for me. When I am with someone I don't want to be with anyone else, and I don't want them to be with anyone else either. It would just cause problems, I get jealous. (I respect that, and I think he's right since I felt jealous about him now...twice...which weirds the hell out of me. What does THAT mean?)
On my best friend Frances: I don't hate him, I know you care about him a lot. Still, you need to handle things differently when we're all together. Don't allow me to be pushed out of the conversation, talk about things I can talk about too, let me take care of you (not him). I'm a competitive guy and so is he, and that's the best way to make sure we can be friends and keep us from starting an unconscious competition over you. He'll always know you better than I do and have this past I can't compete with. I have you now. Sometimes that just makes guys unconsciously compete. I'll try not to, but it's hard if I feel like he is. (There was more, but it's private between us. It reminded me how insightful SP can be and how independent and stubborn he is. I love and hate those two traits.)
On my concern about involving him in my social situations: You haven't given me enough chances! And, you know how people think you're intimidating? I get that a lot too. Every person I have been with has, I like that type of person and so do you. I'm not socially inept, and you know it. So when people get offended when I speak my mind, and can't have people around them who don't share their opinions.... well yeah it's not going to work!! (He had a point on that one, and I'm not friends with those people anymore). As for Anne, you know you're better off hanging out with her without me. I'd just mess it up, and you wouldn't have as much fun. I'm not going to say yes to hanging out with just the two of you, for your sake (He's probably right about that one too, but I've only asked him to do that once really and it was to SEE A MOVIE, that's not hanging out together doof.) As for your other friends, you hardly ever invite me. Do it again and give me a try, let's see what happens. I bet I'll surprise you. (Challenge accepted.)
On hetero men being friends with women: All guys have more fun with their guy friends for certain activities. SO usually there's a seed within them of wanting to have sex with you that helps inspire the friendship. No matter how awesome and cool and intelligent the chick is, there is some place in a guy's head that thinks that if you're friends he could have sex with you. Not while you're in a relationship, not while he is, etc. but somewhere there is a seed of that idea. It doesn't mean he's waiting for you to break up with someone and then he'll do the same, it's just something to remember, that the seed is always there and is sometimes bigger than others. (To prove his point he admitted that he had female friends who fit into the category of: well if something happened with us, and she was single, maybe we could have sex. No girlfriend likes to hear that, but the point was made. I felt the first stab of jealousy I have felt about him.... and really about anyone except Q......it made me uncomfortable so I didn't press and ask WHO but I wanted to!)
On me: I love you. (Unsolicited, when I asked if he had more fun with his guy friends than he did with me. I had to ask at least one of the dumb girl questions! I refrained from asking as many as I could.)
On relationships: It is the job of anyone in a relationship to let go of the little things that annoy you or bother you about the other person and to only make it an issue when you're really worried or bothered by something important.
Then we had sex, very good sex. After he had stared into my eyes a lot. Mushy stuff. Whenever I have a really deep conversation with him, I come away from it remembering how much I like him, how I'm a little in love with him, and how intelligent and insightful he is. I think I need to make a point to do that more often. Basically, he's committed to this, and to me. When I talk to him about things, he's right there. And since the sleeping meds, I'm much more ME. He likes it. This may go better than I thought it would. ;)
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